Monday, August 31, 2015

Good morning and welcome! to my blog The Fool’s Tarot today, the 1st of September 2015. I state all of that because I feel that this day should be marked in some way, as I feel things shifting and my Tarot worldscape took a sharp upturn this morning. My draw today is a 2-card Scales of Ma’at, with the simplest format of all, “What is going on?” and hopefully a Reply. And that WAS my question, in a way; I haven’t been sleeping much, at all, and yet I am neither too fatigued nor missing too badly the comfort of the “unconscious” hours. Also, I find myself changing the furniture in my Mental Palace, and sometimes in surprising ways. I’m throwing out a LOT of previously gathered and now dusty bric-a-brac. I’m also tossing some things that I now believe have become TOO comfortable. Well, on to it; my draw this morning was the 6 of Swords and XVII the Star. Unremarkable, I know, BUT: I used a new deck this morning, *The Tabula Mundi Tarot* by M. M. Meleen, and if you haven’t seen it yet, marvels and miracles await you. (It takes Thoth, Golden Dawn & Crowley, filters them through the sensibilities of the creatrix, Ms. Meleen, and out comes nothing short of magic. I am swept away by this deck, and I already see new horizons in my readings approaching at numinous speeds. And "No," I don’t know Ms. Meleen, nor am I connected with this deck in any way other than as a reader.) I’m not forgetting the so-misunderstood “gamma ray explosion” that is currently enlightening already enlightened minds in more profound ways. However, the general question was more general, and to use a French expression, “Je ne me sens pas bien dans ma peau ; pourqoui ?” (“I’m not feeling ‘good in my skin.’ Why?”) I received a WHOPPER of a response! The 6 of Swords is also labeled Science, to use MS. Meleen’s phrase, “Mental brilliance in balanced form takes one to new places one step at a time.” Can you guess which word stands out for me? “Balanced.” I AM a very mentally oriented Seeker, but my problem has ALWAYS been Balance, or (and THIS is why I SO OFTEN pull XIV Temperance in a reading) tempering the needs of the WHOLE organism to a generalized maintenance of well-being, and let all slide in a quest for knowledge and experience, and knowledge-through-experience. I am being FLOODED right now with new and brilliant metaphysical rivers of knowledge, too much really to take in all at once, and as usual I am not prepared because my organism is “out-of-balance;” my physical state is “weak” and in a serious effort to regenerate its own Health, along with the usual singsong of the medical birds on the high-voltage wire. That is the Left-hand side of the scales, what is “out of sorts” with me; the Right-side of the Scales is the Feather of Truth of Ma’at and here I get double-whammied with goodness! XVII the Star is THE Major Arcana ruler of the 6 of Swords, both share the sign of Aquarius, and if XVII the Star is ANYTHING she is a Renewal, Devotion and Vision, and she is calling to be received as She also receives, with open arms. Her message is simple/not-so-simple: free yourself from illusion. IF you can do that, come bath in the River of Stars with the goddess Nuit!  

Sunday, August 30, 2015

Good morning and Welcome! to the Scales of Ma’at today, a 2-carder which asks, « Which is lighter, Mark’s heart or the Truth? » With all the fervent devotion of a sterile follower of Min, the Egyptian god of the Nile & Fertility (he is ALWAYS pictured with an enormous phallus), I hope the answer is “We balance.” Today’s draw for my heart is 0 the Fool and the Truth is represented today by the 5 of Pentacles reversed (pictured upright.) (Today’s deck is, of course, *Tarot Illuminati* by Erik C; Dunne & book by Kim Huggens [good book!], the phare deck of the Tarot world in 2014. You would have to be deaf, dumb, blind and astrally numb not to know about this deck. Rich. Superb. It is THE deck of choice for many.) I can easily identify today with 0 the Fool, I have that Fool-ish feeling in my heart & spirit today. I’m not so much set on an exterior journey to round out the day, but I AM approaching it in that same spirit of rather feckless adventure and “nothing-can-harm-me-ness” that characterize the Fool. (A beautiful but not relevant bead found on the Path – did you know that Hermes is the driver of the Chariot in Arcanum VII?) Ms. Huggens calls 0 the Fool “the Infinite Possibility of Chaos,” and comments lengthily on the Uranian aspects of the card, which are useful and at times unexpected. I’m okay with my heart being in a Foolish mode today, as that means it isn’t feeling jaded, nor cynical, nor stoic, but fresh & ready for adventure! (It isn’t listening to what this old body is saying, but fuck it – I’d rather hear my heart!) The Truth lies hidden somewhere in my 5 of Pentacles reversed. No matter the deck, the word that springs to mind universally for this card is “misery.” And here I have misery reversed, and if I consult a couple of books, I can scatter a handful of explanations in front of your bedazzled eyes and let you pick which one you would wish upon me; the modified and softened misery, or the aggravated misery, or maybe not misery at all, but hopelessness. Whatever you are wishing for me, I turn and with a smile slip it up your fundament because I just noticed something on the card (universal, not particular to this deck); the abject, crouching figure is ALWAYS accompanied by an upright friend, and today I think that is my Truth, as it happened for me just last night. I’ll leave out details, but a good friend “popped by” with some deeply needed *something* and I was able to sleep for the first time in three nights, and before that, it had been five nights. He acted as a magical agent in meeting my need/desire, and that is the message today I get here from the 5 of Pentacles – “Even in the worst of times, you are not Alone. You have a friend, or guide, or companion, or mentor who is there to share the burden if you wish it so.” So that is my Truth today: be that “Friend in Distress” yourself, as well, and if the Universe hands you an opportunity today to lend a helping hand, hop to it! “I can deal with my life – it is my most precious possession.” (app)   

Good Morning and Welcome! to this morning’s Knot of Isis (a Tyet:  , in this case meaning a simple 3-card reading composed of 1) My Aces or atouts in the field, my advantages, 2) My Challenges and 3) Resolution or Compromise. Today I have the 9 if Swords, The Queen of Swords, and XIV Art. (Todays deck is *The Rosetta Tarot* by M. M. Melee. To be honest, I am consoling myself for not yet using her new deck, *Tabula Mundi Tarot Nox et Lux*, which is SO delicious looking that I can’t wait to dive in to it. However, not yet knowing it, (it just arrived,) I shall get thoroughly acquainted with it before I flash it up here. I LOVE the Rosetta deck, though, so I’m not really suffering. Thoth-like, paintings of great personal depth & power, it is a winner for ease of reading and clarity. An A for Ms. Meleen on this one!) I start the Tyet with the 9 of Swords, The Lord of Cruelty and Despair. He’s all about Mars in Gemini; he’s also all about truly cruel wounds that he or she may inflict verbally. This is the Great Trial, and it is Sturm und Drang all the way. The ONLY thing to do is to walk straight through that gaping maw of blood-dripping swords and into the heart of your Fear yourself; So, I need to march into the heart of my Fear; easier said than done, since my fear isn’t neatly concrete or beatable. My one Fear is not making the Changer to Enlightenment, and remaining down here blind in the mud forever. THAT scares the living shit out of me! Now, if you have read me, you KNOW I’m really good at this, and if I wish to be mean, what I can make come out of my mouth can be utterly destructive and beyond cruel. I have to do THAT with Directed Will, and it is an act of dark Magic, which I don’t like to use, the price is horrifying. So no Snakemouth today, Mark, under ANY circumstances; and if you are the subject of it, remember, Mark, “Be large, Be large,” and shame the attacker into silence. This card is placed as an advantage, however, so either it will be comfortable to have, knowing I can use it, or it will partake of the battle & cause havoc. His/My Challenge today is the Queen of Swords; Queen of the Thrones of the Air; Queen of Sylphs and Sylphides. She’s about Virgo in Libra and is the Water of Air. You’ll notice she’s carrying a severed head: mine? Naawww. IT is symbolic of liberating the mind, she’s cut herself free, and if this is a sort of castration. She has silenced upper masculinity but keeps the lower, killing Illusion  and separating the intellect from the animal. Showing up her on my board means that I am being Challenged to face the truth, to cut away illusion, to liberate myself from the animal. This isn’t another person coming at me, this is ME coming at me, wanting to “kill ‘em all and let God sort ‘em out!”  I must be careful pruning the tree, however, as I don’t wish to cut away any of the good with the bad. Finally, our solution, my compromise, is XIV, Art. Art, Temperance, the Rose of Shannon, call it what you will, a pair of ben-wah balls smells just as sweet. She has herself some titles: Daughter of the Reconcilers; The Bringer Forth of Light; she is Sagittarius in Jupiter along with other Kabbalistic bric-a-brac. It’s a bit like being told you have to go search for Temperance and your hunting partner is Temperance herself! Perhaps she is along so that when I finally turn and recognize her, she casts me into Purification and thus is able to unite and synthesize the 9 and the Queen, both of Swords you will have remarked. The suit of Fire. Yeah, that’s me, Fire all the way. Intentional process → Anima and Animus balanced, and contact with the soul’s guide. This is the Art of Alchemy. (Last conclusion freely adapted from M.M. Mellen) So today, My Life is a Constant and Glorious Exploration! So mote it be; As above, so below.  


 

Saturday, August 29, 2015

Good morning and Welcome! to a three-card daily draw, one I call the Knot of Isis (the « tyet » in ancient Egyptian.) As Usual the 1st card represents my “atouts,” my Aces in the general situation of today; the 2nd, while on the far right, represents the challenges likely to occur on my Path, and the 3rd card, which I usually place in the center between the two others is the solution, compromise, deal, arrangement, outlook, adjustment to personality needed to make a success of today. Today I have the 5 of Swords reversed, the King of Cups as challenge, and XIII Death as the answer. Now, besides having Death as the “central” card, these cards are grungy-looking as well, so all in all it looks pretty fucking miserable. (Today’s deck is *The Darkana Tarot* by Dan Donche & Janden Hale. Grunge-style, I find it hard to read, literally. It doesn’t flow easily for me, getting anything out of it is like pulling teeth. This lies in my VERY sparse “Don’t Use” box. If grunge is your things, perhaps it will work like oiled laxative for you.) The meanings of the 5 of Swords can be SO varied, from individual humiliation to loss of Honor. As reversed here, I will read this today as a need to be careful of Despair; It is the “time” concomitant to humiliation, and can have the heaviest and most dire consequences. Besides, I’m not a good Despair person, my hair isn’t long enough to hang down in my face and conceal the utter lack of hope that may show itself there. I’m in a “situation” with the King of Cups, and if I had to take a WILD guess, he’s dressing me down & telling me to stand up straight, assume my responsibilities like the clone that I am, and accept that occasional brushes with emotions like Despair are part & parcel of being on the Tarot Police. Notice the King kindly giving booze to the alcoholic (or so I like to think; I suppose it could be Perrier.) (Here would be a great place to put in the theme from ‘Dragnet’.) I find that rather louche, but then again I’ve always found the Cups rather louche, even though, Poseidon knows, you can’t live happily without them or complete your own apotheosis into enlightenment. Finally, my “growing up” is going to cause a great change in some of my being, to my benefit I hope! I have ABSOLUTELY NO PROBLEM tearing down old or dysfunctioning constructions in myself, even take a type of glee in doing it. I presume that is because I still believe, in some small, dark, corner, that Critical Voice that says, “You’re all wrong! You’re put together all wrong! You’re doomed, damned, and double-fucked!” And I’m still desperately scurrying around trying to figure out what to fix first. Well, that’s all in the past, and I haven’t scurried since I stood up for myself at the age of 14. I still maintain that he NEEDED that knife in the belly, but that’s all spilt milk now. I can easily live with XIII; it has been a card-playing buddy for a l-o-n-g time. And he’s pretty, too; I always like a pretty archetype.  And Change? Oh shit Oh dear! (A favorite expression of my paternal grandmother.) Darlin’, I can do that in the dark with my hands taped in mittens and ben-wa balls in place! “I welcome change into my life, embracing it fearlessly and hopefully!” (Thoth app.)     


Friday, August 28, 2015

Good morning and Welcome! to my Scales of Ma’at daily drawing for 28/08/2015: the 8 of Pentacles on the left and IX the Hermit on the right. (Today’s deck is *The Tarot of Vanessa Ives*, being an adaptation of a deck used in the televised serial, *Penny Dreadful*, Minimalist cards with touches of malice.) This 8 of Pentacles reminds me visually not so much of the apprentice figure but of someone learning their tread the hard way: this young woman is being showered or overwhelmed, and for some odd reason her neck speaks to me of despair. Whatever she is absorbing, creating and releasing, is being carried straight to IX the Hermit. Our Hermit is a rather odd fellow, head bowed under the “weight” of the carnivorous anglerfish above him. Interesting substitution for the traditional lantern, eh? In these two cards, facing each other and thus telling me that this is interior work, I am the student seeking the teacher. It would be hard to put or read this any other way; the cards are clear. Besides, it is true; I have SO much knowledge in my Memory Palace at this time, and the soul-felt desire to focus on Tarot & Tarot alone, no runes, no Lenormands, no divinatory art of any sort. The closest I step outside of the pure Tarot is the Order of the Golden Dawn and my ongoing studies of it. The point being, I WOULD like a teacher here, helping me make my way ever deeper into the crystal grottoes where the secrets of the Cards lie encased in precious stones . . . that being said, circumstance and synchronicity do not allow of a teacher in my area – if anything, I am the teacher to be sought, as TP-style Professional Tarot is a completely strange canard down here. (They are used to gypsy palm readers & black guys working their skim as Shaman Nbumbo who will lift the curse. [For 500 € and a bottle of Jack Daniels.] As a consequence, I’m an odd duck – I’m not running it as a scam. It is hard for them to get that through their heads.)  AND – there is the giant gamma rush going on as we speak, so we are all experiencing an “upgrade” of sorts. So I am going to have to try and be my own teacher today, and take the efforts that 8 is offering me and transform them with some kind of knowledge into something useful, without letting the Hermit “eat it” and keep it, and not re-gorge it in useful form. That is my Inner job today. Take what I know to my Hermit and let him sift through what’s there and direct me where to concentrate. This sounds like a workable plan! ۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞ I want to make a small announcement; my peripatetic daily readings will continue to be available on my blog, http://thefoolstarot.blogspot.fr/ . I am discontinuing posting them on the Tarot Professionals page. The reasons are several, among which are, 1) only a very small percentage of the membership read the entries for various reasons: vulgarity, vocabulary too difficult, disagreement over interpretations, etc., and 2) I’m a bit tired writing to the void. On a blog, you know it is the void, and if someone is following your feeds & responding, it’s great. AND it is about that which you wish to discuss, Tarot. Here on TP I’m writing to an empty colosseum which I hope will have a few tourists; on my blog, I’m writing to me and my friends. So, if you wish to continue to follow, I’ll see you over there! I’ll still be a gadfly and Inappropriate around here, as well, of course. I’m not abandoning TP, I’m just tailoring what I do & will be a more winged presence here on these pages... Thanks!    

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Good morning and Welcome! to another Scales of Ma’at reading today that I’m not going to belabor. It is the 10 of Wands and XIV Temperance. (The deck is the *Langustl Tarot* by ‘Langustal Verlag.’)  These two cards are old friends, old companions on the Path, and I’ve seen a fair bit of them recently. Here they have just abandoned any subtlety they may have possessed and are just throwing mud in my face at this point; “Put it down! Moderate, you asshole!!” Okay, okay, thanks for the daily kick in the ass. I GET IT.  

 
Good morning and Welcome! to the Scales of Ma’at for 26/08/2015. In the midst of all this confusion and my heart/cups having gone completely berserk while waiting for the great gamma ray inundation that will blow the top off of the human head and send terawatts of energy coursing through the third eye, bright enough to light the entryway to Pantage’s Theatre in Hollywood. Today my draw is the 3 of Cups and the Queen of Wands. Hmmm; I feel a big-ass lack of inspiration today. You know those days, when, “Hmm. Oh, the card? Yeah, yeah, they’ll be there, they always are. Hey, have you seen my Darjeeling first-flush tea?” Also, I am momentarily in the thrall of today’s deck, *The Bohemian Gothic Tarot,* mentioned previously. I have become fascinated with the images in the deck, and a heavy, bohemian lethargy has settled over me, forcing me not to care about my further illumination. I think I see a black, serpentine smoke coming in under the windowsill . . . .  Harrumph! I mean, really, have you ever looked! They ALL have HEAVY under-messages. Oh, those Slavs (Ukolov), seeing Death throwing back shooters of vodka on every street corner! “Oh, oh, oh! Will I EVER look at my Bavarian crystal vase the same way again?” Back to reality - - - the cards are the 3 of Cups and the Queen of Wands. The 1st really WTF moment comes when you realize that it is a flight of bats winging down the canyon to the vampire and her two young charges. Oh, how serene and contented they look! As if, “what are you doing here? There is nothing you can do here. Go away, you’re ruining everything.” The LWB with this says “they are collaborating on something shady or outright criminal. Bad Company. Deliberately choosing the wrong thing to do.” That’s a FAR cry from how we usually see it. So, okay, I’ll look out for bad company and knowingly wrong decisions today, but I can’t erase the original, core, meaning of the card which is “happy retrouvailles.” (re-findings) So, how about if I go with happy re-findings but carrying a darker message now? That wouldn’t surprise me at all; it fits the card as well, and could easily have a place in my “there are still dark corners needing cleaning, you know” campaign.  Our three little bloodsuckers are gazing over at the Queen of Wands, and I just can’t get over pouring over an expanded scan of her card. She has got it DOWN! Her pose across the street for the carnival costume shop, looking almost as if it has just been burglarized, her 7 strands of pearls (not only for the mystic 7, but because an old bohemian aristocratic belief that eventually became Europe-wide was that during the day, a lady only wore pearls, and if she was so unfortunate enough to not have enough money to spend at leisure, if she head to wear less than 10 strands, they had to be “impair,” odd-numbered. Above 10, as many as your delicate little shoulders will hold, my dear. At night, you wore your jewels. No pearls. So, WHEN is this card? Dawn? Dusk? If it’s the middle of the night, she’s turning convention on its’ head. And what is that line of people off in the deep right background waiting to enter? A costume ball? IS she a reveler as well? Who, what and why is the CAT? (OF course, a lot DO know the answer to that!) Look at her fan, Cat again. Is she trying to make a statement? “I want to be coquettish and girl-like, but I’m the Queen of Wands and far too serious for that kind of silliness! I look, closely, at that card and cannot decide if she is a ‘working girl’ of the quarter done up for a masquerade ball or the actual Queen of Wands out slumming in the dusk? Whomever, she is most likely way quicker than the average you. And she knows what she wants, and she has no intention of being disappointed. The lady’s a Player, she knows the Game. (Do yourself a silly favor sometime and watch a movie called “Bell, Book & Candle” with Kim Novak, Jimmy Stewart & others. It’s corny and idiotic, but it conveys perfectly that sense of “the lady’s a Player, she knows the Game.”) So, what do I make of her in my life today?  Again, the “dark” LWB; “a theatrical woman, whose sensuality is disturbing. An overwhelming practitioner of dark magic and neurotic attention seeker.” Well, Ookkaayyy. Not likely, but OK. I’d rather see it in archetypal & energy terms, that some type of STRONG reasoning female energy or force is going to be present today, also fueled by her three little B-cup maidens on the left, it isn’t necessarily going to want to deal with me, but it must interact since I am there. So, this is a situation of, “TEN-SHUN! All Five Senses, report for duty! Unwelcoming or uncontrollable territory ahead! Be Aware!!”. . . “Yes, SIR!!” “Sixth Sense, I want you to hang back and judge the initial vibrational meeting or confrontation. We’ll plan any further troop movements based on your recommendations. Understood!!”. . . “Yes, SIR!!” At any rate, we’ll start that way and see if it serves any purpose; if not, in the wink of an eye I can slip into being an unctuous diplomat; but without full and total approval and support from High Command, I will NOT be me, not with THIS kind of energy. It is vampiric, and it will feed on whatever is offered and/or whatever is nearest. Don’t be silly – you still need to be aware this shit exists. And you need to be prepared to deal with it. So, my watchword for today is “It’s lovely to find a lady of Reason again in these strange times; you didn’t say you had traveled to the Dark Side of the Moon, by any chance?” Watch Out.  

 

Monday, August 24, 2015

Good morning and Welcome! to another Scales’ of Ma’at morning reading – I’ve tried other formats for my mornings, including apps which deliver, and none works as well for me as either the duality of this simple draw (with 3 we haul in Osiris for the compromise or solution, if the problem is simply too knotty or formulated that way.) Today’s is simple: “Considering all that’s gone on lately with my French life on a 3-D real basis, what’s up? Just a clue, please, if nothing else.” I receive XXI the World and the 10 of Pentacles. (Today’s deck is *The Cultural Revolution Tarot* by Christine Aguiar & James Battersby. We’ve seen it, we’ve talked about it, we’ve even voted on it; well, voilà, and IMHO they have done a SPECTACULAR job on this deck. I love it, bright & colorful, but most importantly it reads well & easily. This is a winner!) This draw would have delighted my tight little heart (but rapidly expanding!) had it been in the “correct,” other direction, 1st the 10, THEN the World. But no, the cards delight in watching me squirm. You know, I KNOW I’ve got the world down here. No, I am not the Sultan of Brunei, but I have EVERYTHING I need and MOST of what I want. Hell, I can indulge my caprices “most” of the time, like Tarot decks & books & anything concerning Egyptology. Oh, and gems. We are currently undergoing the period of 7 lean kine, but this card reminds me of two things: 1) you’ve already go the world at your feet (to all intents & purposes) and 2) Your goal is still up ahead, but at least her “vibes” are “coming into view.” I am literally feeling more & more complete with each passing week & month, and no, it isn’t simply relief from my healing leg. I was calmly prepared to let that go, if need be. No, this is different – I’m re-uniting a LOT of things in being, things that have been separated for a long time. It’s like one of those science-fiction films where the creature or whatever, after utter human destruction, begins to pull itself back together like mutually attracted mercury or “replicator chips” or what have you. 5 seconds and I’m upright and smiling at you once again, asking if destruction was really necessary, considering – Look! – all the good it did. She’s waving to me, “This Way!” “I’m coming, Sister, I’m coming as fast as I can.” The 10 of Pentacles is much homier in intent and in practice in my life recently. My French family has been growing by leaps and bounds lately; newborn nieces by the handful, friends’ newborns by the sidecar full, Fertility is having a field day in this family. And they are ALL girls. I’m very cautiously, with about a pound of salt, taking that to mean that soon, when the change comes, we are going to need a lot more of the feminine. That’s cool with me, I fuckin’ LOVE women (and no, gets your minds out of the gutter.) I’m just very “avisé” when it comes to having dealings with them.  Don’t ever deny to me that the male and female agendas are entirely different, I shall guffaw and strike you senseless with a ham-handed fist, sending you ass over teacup in the stable yard until you fetch up against the stone wall with a head-cracking thump. “Phool!” I shall guffaw. “Send this young person to the shitters! Learn life from the bottom sphere!! Harharhar!” When dealing with a woman, ALWAYS deal from the top of the deck; that means, above all, be honest, because if there is one thing a woman will literally CRUCIFY a man for it is dishonesty. Take it from the son of my mother, it’s true. Second, BE CLEAR! What she is hearing is not necessarily what you are saying; she is doing inner translating and may miss a crucial detail. Repeat if necessary. For a happy family, FORGET cruelty. Just fuck it in the ass and kick it out. It has no place in life, much less happy family life. Its’ attendants, mockery and snakemouth and disregard need to be regularly whipped and put to work in the castle laundry on a regular basis, until they can bleach their colors and pretend to the rank of acolyte to Mercy, Justice & Compassion. Forget Money. Give the direction to one capable person, who understands the rhythm of the family, its needs, wants and even caprices, and can direct through lean as well as fat years. Then LEAVE IT ALONE, it isn’t your business. If necessary, your partner should know to let you know they need help, if they do. Above all, to maintain my own open, happy family, I do a kind of two-step; 1) Set aside EVERYTHING you know and/or suspect of this person, and enter THIS meeting with your heart high and your eyes bright. And DON’T FUCKING FORGET TO SMILE, and 2) Just Do It – Open your heart to the huge wave of Love that it is and engulf yourself, the room and the Other. That same reserve is what makes you cry unexpectedly at movies or suddenly thinking of someone’s death, it is ALWAYS there, waiting to go out and “lubricate” something that you will profit from digesting. Find beauty where you can – in the abandoned, the lonely, the sad and the forgotten. Touch yourself with pity and understanding and friendship, not brutality and mastership. Allow your heart to bleed and your eyes to cry. Mine are, right now as I write this, because I imagine so much beauty in a fulfilled life out there for you . . . .    

Sunday, August 23, 2015

Good morning and Hello! I’m on a Scales of Ma’at slope today – I woke up and knew it would be a Scales of Ma’at day, and even knew what (surprising) deck I should use – hinting at what’s just around the corner, Autumn and it’s great festivals of Samhain &/or Hallowe’en, the Wicker Man has been burnt, (did anyone know the chosen this year?), and round off the Autumn with the harvest festival of an American Thanksgiving, complete with smallpox blankets and wagonloads of crude poisoned spirits to throw to the immigrants arriving by the thousands on northern Mediterranean shores, fleeing the violence elsewhere around the basin. It isn’t really THAT bad, but the European welcome mat is decidedly of short fiber & shrift. At any rate, I wanted a heart/cosmos reading today, something along the lines of, “My heart is SO up & down lately, my intuition is hot or cold, my ‘emotions of the heart’ like compassion, empathy, love and brotherhood of the soul are ALL out of whack, veering crazily around the accretion disk of  the black hole of my mystification. I’m a creature that breathes *Control,* so when things are this galactically comparable to Mussorgsky’s *Night on Bald Mountain,* something’s fucked up. Help me out here.” Well, I got the draw I needed to see just as I drew it; meaning that I knew it was dead right-on. The 10 of Wands and III the Empress. Please remember that on the Scales of Ma’at, your heart is placed in the left balancing tray and weighed against the feather of Truth by Ma’at, Goddess of Equilibrium, Justice, and Well-being Through Order & Truth. (Today’s deck is *The Bohemian Gothic Tarot* by Alexander Ukolov & Karen Mahoney.  It is a gorgeous, decadent deck, and hard to find now, I understand. If you run across a copy, snap it up. You may come to appreciate it! There is an app, too, I’m told.) So there I trudge, my sack of sticks on my back, through the deceptive darkness, eh? Well, mayhap I have a load of care & concerns that I am to shoulder until Judgment Day or I decide to unburden myself, but they are getting lighter all the time. The key was my mother’s death – I didn’t mourn, not out of lack of feeling or hate, but out of belief that there was nothing TO mourn. She had lived a very full life, had been able to see all of her plans come to fruition, and left with a great feeling of accomplishment & satisfaction in a job well done. Everyone was so torn up with their own grief they never noticed the lack of mine. That was the log that started the spectacular highway wreck. With it loose, the others couldn’t maintain form, and slowly but inevitably, and with ever increasing speed, rolled off of my back and into incoming traffic. It was a MAGNIFICENT pile-up! I think this card, this 10, refers to another set of sticks I may be carrying, quite unconsciously, and I am ashamed to admit it – the need to be psychically in control and able to decide the fate of the sticks which I carry. That figure in the dark, with the 10 sticks, don’t forget he’s had the guts and intelligence to make it all the way to here, the 10 of Wands, so he isn’t stupid. Nor am I. We’ll let go of these sticks together, too, and yes, we shall shed the tears of fathers watching their children walk away, but that will be right. And the Feather of Truth in all of this? Why, II the Empress, of course! Whose cornucopia of fertility and goodness and health and fruitfulness and all of the ripe joys of life shall be openly shared with me to encourage me in my task of becoming the unburdened Man? The Empress, number III, with her large Bohemian goodness and rather creepy transvestite princelet at her side. (Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.) OR in this case, the man behind the mirror, because it is certainly a FASCINATING depiction of happy domestic felicity, isn’t it? Actually, it is very close in spirit to a LOT of my jokes, which often have a macabre element to them, and I am comfortable with him in the picture because he is a kind of future me, or perhaps more accurately, the CURRENT me, waiting to be clothed in my new raiment of golden crystals and citrine silk (personal favorites – choose your own color scheme). The placement of the cards gives me reason to believe that I’m taking my burden to the Empress, and that her happy little triumvirate will help me to sort out the chaff from the wheat, or the gold from the straw, or the Truth from the shit. I can certainly hope so, and with good reason; my anima, now restored to her rightful throne (somewhere to the right and slightly behind mine) is running through her archetypes as quickly as she can trip the Light Fantastic, because A) mainly she is having fun, and more seriously, B) she has to play catch up a little, not much, to ride her palfrey comfortably alongside my destrier. I wanted to love and marry a generous, rich & loving woman and I have struck the jackpot here in the Spheres. SO – I’m going to throw off this shabby cloak that hides my true nature at the next turn, and enter openly into the Light with my Empress. Bring your shades, our beauty may blind you.    
Good Morning and Welcome! to a 3-card Assets-Challenges-Resolution draw, or what I like to call a « Cut the Baby in Two! » Spread. Solomon was never this wise! But then, of course, he was fending off the Queen of Saba while he was undermining the virtue of Bathsheba as well, so he didn’t have a lot of time for reflection. It’s hardly a wonder he let a few djinn escape, he couldn’t control his own demon organ. So for an “overlook” at the coming week, any hoohaw, today I’ve pulled XVIII the Moon, II The High Priestess and the 6 of Coins. Hmm, I feel like slipping into something kinky, black & neoprene or else completely nude, and moonbathing and swimming in the High Priestess’ gardens on the Moon. 5IF that were REALLY the message, it probably would have been better delivered by a deck like *Tarot of A Moon Garden.* As it is, I was drawn last night to make the reading this morning with THIS deck, and I try and pay more & more attention to my intuition. This deck, by the way, is *The Fountain Tarot* by Jonathan Saiz, Jason Gruhl & Andi Todaro. A very powerful deck; it leads you anywhere, and I underline that.) I’m spending the week with the Moon, it seems, which is alright by me, don’t get me wrong! I love the Moon; -bathing, -tanning, -lit walks, -gazing, I am, like all of us, fascinated by that faceless face in the Sky, always watching, never expressing. The Moon is the place everyone WANTS to go but most are bullied by the Sun to GO to HIS HOUSE. The Sun is a jealous god, and an even more jealous husband; (If you’re Asian [esp. Japanese,] just switch the sexes, thank you.) We tend to think of ‘Mommy’ and ‘Daddy’ as a united couple serenely ruling over their solar family, but . . . c’mon, we KNOW there is a stellar reality, too, to counter the stellar myth. What great, powerful family have YOU ever seen of purely 100% like mind? Exactly. This week’s cards tie in with something Linda K. and I have been discussing, the oncoming psychic bomb. We both believe, and have references, that a large “energy pulse” is heading in from deep space and we are in its path, if not its target. There is nothing bad in this; it is to be seen, rather, as a “gift” and “incentive” to those with the perception to receive it, and yes, I’ll say it, those evolved enough to use it. The Giver is the All, and we are the recipients. So, a week spent in the company of the Moon means 1st class seating was included in my Moon package. HOWEVER . . . however . . . however, I have a bit of a “once inside the gates” problem; the owner of the joint herself wants to verify my invite and make sure I belong with a little one-on-one conversation. I know who this: “Hello, Anima-at-Home.” She’s having a good time; now that we are pulling the wagon together again since a long time gone, she feels free enough to indulge in one of our favorite pastimes, teasing. How Moon-like of you, my dear. Lol.” Because she DOES make me laugh; she is just as much the teasing, poking, and unraveling-the-yarn mischievous nuisance as am I. It’s nice to have her home. (Most of the time.) Well, it seems that between us all we can come up with to get into the garden show of the “Arrival” is 6 Coins. Ah! A message! Delivered by that cute little hatcheck girl in the fishnets and too-high heels? I unfold it and read, “What is Given Must Be Returned.” I pass it to Anima, she glances at it, and we turn to smile at each other, with the full dazzling radiance of our united understanding: What is coming, the “psychic bomb” MUST be redistributed, i.e. it must spread out, even like a virus, because THAT OUT THERE wants to give as many as possible the chance to climb up a rung, or 3, or 5. If it is being given to us, it is only because we are judged to be the best suited at this time to distribute the knowledge/grace of the evolution of us all, or so we hope. And that is because with this kind of jump, we know there is no possibility of going back, of returning for “that soldier we won’t leave behind.” Mankind may not/ does not know it yet, but we are way beyond that . . . .    


 

Thursday, August 20, 2015

Good morning and Hello! Today’s draw isn’t particularly inspiring but it IS affirmative, and for that I am thankful. I don’t mind the occasional “’Atta boy!” when it is needed or earned, but I don’t enjoy, as a general rule, having smoke blown up my ass or being pointlessly flattered or “leveraged” in some way, shape or form. Condescension and forced obedience have the same effect – I rebel, and usually in the most pointed way possible. Today, though, it’s okay, because it really IS simply a confirmation of a decision already taken. Today’s Scales of Ma’at are occupied by the Ace of Pentacles and the Knight of Swords. (Today’s deck is the *Night Sun Tarot* by Fabio Listrani.) The Ace tells me that I’m starting a new adventure in the 3D world. The Ace is promising a new beginning and since this is pentacles I may safely assume we’re looking at my health here. I need to face this final phase of “The Great Leg Repair of ‘15” with inspiration, creativity, enthusiasm & energy. These are major qualities of the effect of citrine, a gem & mineral. I’ve been collecting them for over 2 years now, and I didn’t know why until I ran into this leg problem. I actually DO feel better when using or wearing it, and my collection of the crystal has become imposing. At any rate of exchange, I’m feeling up, up, UP for doing this ASAP and getting on with my life. Ever since the Great Bloodletting in ’12 my health has been problematic. This is THE last major action I must take to re-establish the general condition of “the machine,” me. This Ace? Go for it!! reinforcement. Riding away from the Ace is our Fiery Fire buddy, the Knight of Wands. Now even though he is riding away, which could signal disagreement and going off on another Path, here & now I’m seeing it as “the engine that moves the vehicle;” he’s ready to go, to face dangers & enemies, rough times & good. This is new territory for him, but he is gung-ho anyway. He has immense stamina & strength to lend to the process . . . hell, to be the point man of the process! He forges the Path into the immediate future so that the Ace of Pentagrams can roll ‘more-or-less smoothly’ to completion. It’s just a short read today, and positive, and without equivocation or procrastination, very Nike-like: “Just do it.” Therefore today’s mantra will be, “My life is unlimited, and it is filled with transformative energy.”(Re-worked from the Thoth app.) With an app, you have to be pithy and quick, n’est-ce pas?) So, while it isn’t happing TODAY, it will happen very soon, and I am MORE than ready to get rid of rebellious joints that smoke and sleep with that old, old whore, arthritis. I just hope I can find my broadsword; those things are so heavy I’ll need to train a bit before the surgery just in case the doctor screws something up. Failure isn’t permitted, not on or in MY body.  

 

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Good morning and Hello! Today (20/08/2015) is a 2-card Scales of Ma’at reading; the 2 of Gardens (Pentacles) and IX the Hermit. (Today’s deck is the *Japaridze Tarot* by Nino Japaridze. One of the most stunning & breathtaking art decks I’ve ever encountered. It reads well, too! This is a luxury item; it is so well done and fabricated. And then there is the Art . . . which receives a critical standing ovation, at least from me.) I’m not trying to resolve a glaring issue but rather find how to accept a part of my personality that is uncomfortable but true and just. In this instance, it was assumed I would accept someone changing the rules in mid-game in nakes self-interest. it WASN’T anticipated that I would call him on his cheating bullshit.  Everyone KNOWS you don’t change the rules mid-game. I chose to speak up. Of course! it turned the evening “just a touch” stilted and uncomfortable, until the matter was resolved a bit later. It didn’t end the evening, but it “put a hitch in its giddy-up!” I can see that people think I can’t handle randomness, chance, or “chaos theory” behavior, but I can; I simply won’t stand for cheating crap, which certainly puts me in a bad posture vis-à-vis the world, which is currently run by the most self-aggrandizing clique of the über-rich in history.  So, the 2 of Gardens (Pentacles); Mark, you are in the act of “balancing your Self.” This card may also signify financial pressure, which is certainly the case around our house this month! I’m good at adjusting to Change, however; but priorities are VERY important to me, and if one of your priorities isn’t honest behavior and the Truth, then you and I are going to have BIG problems. Ma’at tells me today, however, that I don’t need to slug it out in a public arena; as a matter of fact, Marko-me-boy, you really should work on this “in private,” in IX the Hermit mode. At least for now. Pull your shamanic shit together and integrate your experiences with your morality, such as it is. Quit with the distractions, pal; if you want to get to acceptance of ALL of your personality, you are going to need to meditate on independence (not being a part of the mindless herd) and self-awareness. I am fairly honest with myself, I believe; I try not to swallow my own merde, and generally succeed. HOWEVER, I can feel the need for some alone-time right now – I literally suffer from a lack of it, but that is a whole other kettle of fish. Having married for the first time at the age of 53, I still have some “don’t fuckin’ smother me!” issues. My wife is to blame for nothing, it is my interpretation of her interest in and care of and for me. So-o-o, that’s my Higher Self’s advice to my lower self today; keep balancing, Mark, keep refining your act, and spend some time in your head, pal, you are “socially burnt out” at the moment due to a combination of deep fatigue, illness & pain recently quit, and a soupçon of “it just isn’t polite, is it?” Not that I really give a flying monkey’s shit about that latter, but I am a creature of my society, and guilt is in-built when you rip back the curtain on the little asshole feverishly working his/her lies. However, I wasn’t born to be toilet paper for this world and clean up its mess. So today, I think I’ll move a few pieces of favorite furniture and pack a valise; I need to dwell at the center of myself for a bit.  

Monday, August 17, 2015

Good morning and Hello! Today’s 2-card Scales of Ma’at morning draw gave me this, which is a bit perplexing, but workable. The Knight of Coins is a newly-arrived friend from a distant land; he is protecting the 3D, & in this case, I believe she (in French, a card of any sort is feminine in gender; a pack of cards is masculine in gender. Therefore, “she” and “he” if you want to restore gender to the colorless, flavorless, weak broth that is modern English) is speaking of my physical health, which she has done a great job of guarding and for which the Knight rides. If there were a card to the left, it would be what he is protecting, but to the right is that from which he is protecting me, and I’m not quite sure what to think of that, unless I simply throw that Tarot reference out the window and go with another reading. I can do that – if we look at the star on the card, and see that Higher Self is the Knight’s Guiding Star, and the Fool in this case represents my willingness to be a fool to find the truth (again, the card faces nothing, so she must be judged “almost” individually instead as part of a two-card reading.) It (“un tirage,” masculine, but silly to genderize here) is a really positive draw, I can see that; I have to drive a long way into the Metaphysical to pull out the connections, though.    

After the successful doctor's visit this a.m., I consulted the cards about going ahead with Stage 2, the knee replacement. "Is there anything else of which to be aware? Do it now?" I am DELIGHTED with this answer!! (Deck is the *Wickwillow Tarot* by Hal Weeks, my new gold edition which I love.) In case recognition isn't firing on all 4 for you, it is VII & XVII.   

Sunday, August 16, 2015

Good morning and Hello! I’ve drawn a two-card Scales of Ma’at today as my Daily draw. I’m up writing this at an ungodly hour, 03:00, because 1) I’m older and I get up early after a minimum of sleep; and 2) I wanted to know for myself what the draw is today because my morning (the reason I’m writing this at 3 in the morning) shall be occupied with doctors’ appointments and “let’s just see if we’re gonna have to cut that baby off, Mr. Miller! Hahaha!” In French, of course. My “toubib” (French slang for doctor) has been on vacation and this will be our reunion after 4 weeks of home visits by nurses to rewrap my leg every two days to keep the pressure up so as to drive an opportunistic infection out & away. Then, provided he gives me a go-ahead, it’s off to see the surgeon to schedule a knee replacement ASAP; after all, I have to be able to dance the Time Warp by Hallowe’en! So, today I have the Spirit of Fire (Page of Wands) and the Ace of Air (Swords) as my two trays on the Scale, and boy! are they balancing out well! (Today’s deck is the *Tarota Paris* by J. Philip Thomas & a host of others too numerous to mention. It’s an interesting deck – or kit, actually, in a zippered doo-dad with book, score cards (!), pen and deck of cards, along with instructions for “playing” some sort of “game” called “Navigating the Arcana Wheel,” which awakens strong echoes of nothing so much in my mind as Hermann Hesse’s *The Glass Bead Game* and its’ entire metaphysical substructure. [Try to read it if you haven’t; it is fascinating, and in an odd sort of way has implications for Tarot.] The art is beautiful, and appropriately chosen for each card. It is lovely, and it will be interesting to compare the upcoming *Mystic City – Paris* deck to this, a forerunner. “They” are going to have a high standard to meet.) I am VERY happy with this draw today. The Active Air of the Wands is present in the Spirit of Fire (Page of Wands.) This card is about knowing what I want and getting it accomplished. This card is energetically attractive & active, engaging, and Ambitious. This is a card of Possibilities in that I am urged to live life to the fullest. In other words, I believe I can expect enthusiastic thumbs up from the ‘toubib’ to go ahead with the knee replacement surgery! Oh frabjous joy. The other tray on the Scale is the Ace of Air (Swords.) Wow, double winner today! This is about mental clarity and connections. Swiftness of action (get that knee done NOW!) and an assumption that all thoughts are always present as a “field effect” (J. P. Thomas), thus available for the mining of information. That’s a clever way of looking at it, don’t you think? This Ace is all about the Action and the hearty advice “Get up off of your butt and DO IT! You WILL get positive results IF you get up and apply some mental clarity to your situation and cleave through the bullshit and the armor of Passivity. Go for it, Mark, get the medical stuff scheduled and done, there is no time like the present!

“Each of us is merely one human being, merely an experiment, a way station. But each of us should be on the way toward perfection, should be striving to reach the center, not the periphery.” ― Hermann Hesse, The Glass Bead Game, 1943.    

Saturday, August 15, 2015

Hello and Good Morning! I’m at it again, or as my father used to say, “Boy’s got a hard head.” While I many no longer be a boy, I still have the hard head, but in this case it isn’t that I don’t want to accept a result but rather I keep looking to deepen the result I have already been given. I don’t find anything wrong with that, provided Dame Fortune doesn’t get irritated with me and sweep me out from under her skirts and into the clear where I can be whacked at leisure. The French have a saying, “Etre bien dans ta peau,” or “to be well in one’s skin.” Appositely, there is “Ne pas être bien dans ma peau,” which is rather how I am feeling this morning, and it isn’t the usual massive fistful of pills that I am required to take each day; I feel this rather metaphysically, as if when I got out of bed this morning I adjusted my skin suit just a tad incorrectly, and now I have a seam riding up my ass. Or something like that. On the other claw, I need to take into account “coming down from the high,” because I HAVE been on a high, dealing with the High Emotions of reunification (of sorts) with my Anima. Well, quest successfully finished, and now the letdown, the afterbirth. I guess I can live with that; I guess I don’t have a friggin’ choice, right? I’ve got a 3-Pillar again today, on the far left Mercy/my “aces;” on the far right Severity/my Challenges, and in the middle Balance/Compromise. To fill these positions today, I have the 2 of Swords, the King of Coins, and X the Wheel of Fortune. (Today’s deck is *The Alchemical Tarot: Renewed Fourth Edition* by Robert M. Place. If you don’t own one of his decks by now, after all of my haranguing you, then I disown you, don’t come around for tea, leave the key under the mat, don’t let the screen door hit you in the ass. Get one.) Robert has a couple of nifty books out, but the one most applicable to his Alchemical decks is *Alchemy and the Tarot: . . .* His meanings are clear & precise and his summation of the alchemical involvement is clean & comprehensible. For me, the 2 of Swords has always represented A Decision To Be Taken, whereas Robert finds it echoes more with the Socratic Method. Tomatoes, tomahtoes.  And what, pray tell, shall I have from which to choose? THAT answer is already up there in the Memory Palace, and that is “the Path or the King of Lions?” I mentioned $$-flow problems the other day, and they continue, but it is temporary. I know, as well, that with a little razzle-dazzle, a touch of manipulation & machination on my part of the U.S. Government and material comfort, not wealth, can be assured for my lifetime and that of my wife. (It involves taking out my Osage Indian Guilt Harp and playing it yet again to the orcs in Washington, D.C. It isn’t really QUITE that simple, but close.) OR, I can let concerns for my just-more-than-comfortable living take a backseat to that which really IS my primary concern these days, my progress on the Path. So, if that choice is going to involve slighting the King of Coins (not really, but he WILL see it that way), then at least I am assured of a 50/50 shot at success by X the Wheel of Fortune.  With the red, volatile, male serpent “on top,” while the female’s back is roasting in the flames, surrounded by the signs & symbols of Alchemy & Astrology, I can’t help but feel that that today, this time, and the focus is more on the rise of the female than the dominance and fall of the male. Her time is coming. I’m going to directly attribute that to my recent commerce with the Anima, and the exquisite overpoliteness of the deal struck – while it is, in theory, a 50/50share and blending, right now she is having a bit of a jubilatory moment, and I don’t begrudge her that, Jeezuz! it is well-earned in her struggle with The Hard-Headed Boy. All in all, I’m okay today, and I trust that my skin-fit will readjust properly once it warms up. Now instead of signing of with an affirmation, I’m signing off today with a little prayer with which I ALWAYS start sessions: (I’ve modernized the language; I haven’t been impressed by Thee’s and Thou’s since the 1st grade. Also, this is attributable to The Golden Dawn :)
Holy Are You, Lord of the Universe.
Holy are You, Who Nature has not formed.
Holy are You, The Vast and Mighty One.
Lord of the Light, and of the Darkness.



    


Good morning and Welcome! to another 3-Pillar draw for 15 august 2015: the 10 of Swords, the 3 of Disks and the Ace of Disks. (Today’s deck is *The Wickwillow Tarot* by Hal Weeks. Borderless, small-ish but not mini-, clear symbolism, no clutter. Very, very good readings. My only bitch: I could wish they were Tarot-sized, not only for the art, but to give them more of a feel of ‘gravitas’, which they lack yet shouldn’t. I’m a fan, but Hal, A Tarot-sized version, please! Oh, & remember, the deck is Thoth-esque, so take that into mind when reading with it.) The 10 of Swords, the 10 of Swords, hmmm, so this is Mercy, eh? (the 1st Pillar) – I’m trying to think of something good to say to myself about that card, and it is proving difficult. For the Thoth, it is the Lord of Ruin. Malkuth in Air. The Sun in Gemini. Yet while I can find nothing positive to say about the 10, the Spread certainly can! As we all know, when you reach the 10, you return to the 1 to repeat the lesson or move on to the Ace of the next suit, previous suit’s challenge accepted & completed. The only disaster marking my horizon, however, is financial. My wife and I are in a 7 Lean Kine period of existence, and stretching the budget like a funhouse mirror to make accommodations. Everyone except the very, very rich has to do this, and I’m not particularly upset or hysterical about the prospects, because they don’t look good. Jobs are out, they don’t hire older people in France (Shit, they don’t hire YOUNGER people in France! France is in trouble, too.)  The price of petrol needs to rocket through the roof to improve my checks – now before you go ballistic and scream “polluter!” and “planet raper!”, allow me to fill you in; I’m an Osage American Indian, and living off the petrol sitting underneath the worthless ground the U.S. Govt. gave us is small repayment for the ethnic cleansing of the American continent. I still bear a grudge for that, whitey. (Grin . . . sort of.) On the other reptilian claw, I AM a product of that very culture; it is in my pores and it influences every facet of my being EXCEPT the Eternal, the shining star of my soul that is going to rise someday and Go Home. However the lessons learned along the Journey will be retained, including this one - $$$ doesn’t matter, it never did, so your abundance of it in the past was and is illusory. You are okay, just keep walking the Path; this will be behind you soon. “By the way, every Ten in the Minor Arcana stands for the end of a process, for the need to restart or at least variate, only the Ten of Swords have an amazingly crude way to put it into words - that's just the way they are.” (Raven) With Transformation and Light, Rebirth, realization, the end of a cycle, and wisdom through pain and loss, one moves on, as of course shall I. The Ace of Disks is my Severity, or Challenge. She is the root of the Powers of the Earth, Kether through Earth and astrologically is all of the Earth signs. “The Ace of Disks represents the entity of the element Earth, the beginning of Assiah, the material world of making. It stands for the pureness of the element, and also for its seed, the first little sprout that later becomes a tree.” (Raven)  So the Ace of Disks can stand for the beginning of a material subject, a physical project or a material value, meaning the urge to material creation or the chance for material gain. Just remember what the material is; EVERYTHING down here, everything involved in the illusory game of “Is it real?” Finally, I have the 3 of Disks, the Thoth Lord of Works. He is in Binah through Earth, and in Astrology he is Mars in Capricorn. He is also the Challenge or The Severity, (the 3rd Pillar.) This is the natural result of 2, which is naturally unstable – this puts the leg on the tripod, so to speak. It is an alchemical card, i.e. mercury combining with Sulphur & salt producing the living gold, and the crystallization of Earthly powers and energies. The message for me is, “Catastrophe smatastrophe, get back to work.” No rest for the wicked, I guess. None of this is new – I’ve been watching oil drop for a time now, and pray for the day that Americans are forced out of their trance & pay the same for gasoline as the rest of the world – a lot. It IS a diminishing resource. That aside, I am 63 years old, and I quite frankly think I do not have it in me to rebuild my material world, yet I know the cards wouldn’t give me a useless card, so I’m going to see this as an opportunity, a rare opportunity, to get inside the “machinery” and adjust it for a new way of life. I don’t live like I did when I was 30 or 40, and my wife never did. We are, after all, two retired people without children and four cats. We please ourselves & no one else, really. So, if we are going to “have to rebuild the material,” so to speak, then it is going to be much, much more like “an extraterrestrial modern perched on a cliff overlooking a sweeping vista of the sea” than it will be “an over-decorated, bohemian, mish-mash of styles & times & excess, promoting a sense of decadent ease.” That last has been me most of my life, except for my porcelain & crystal period, but let’s not talk about that, shall we? So, it is abso-fucking-lutely Step 1. I can’t escape that, nor can I escape a haunting feeling that I’ve failed and am being sent back a year, excised from the corporeal body of my fellow classmates and made to wear a sign that says, “IDIOT.” I don’t know, I don’t like the feeling, and I know it is NOT true, but sentiment doesn’t give a flying fuck about rationality, it perceives happiness & pain, and guess which one that is for me? Oh well, fuck it. Dead broke, and like and 18th century father, the cards are saying, “Tough shit. It’s your own fault. Now get out & find a job.” Well, I have a job. Reading Tarot. So, until Hermes, Thoth and Michel Nostradamus all visit me as a threesome and beg me to stop, it ain’t happening. Fuck ‘em.    


 

Thursday, August 13, 2015

Good morning and Welcome! to whatever this is now . . . no, actually, it IS thought out and reasoned; I call it the Three Pillars draw. These would be, of course, the three pillars of Tree of Life; facing the Tree, there is the Left-hand Pillar of Mercy, running down the middle is the Pillar of Balance and on the right is the Pillar of Severity. Or, for better reading, these can be called, on the left, ones Atouts; on the right, one’s challenges; and in the middle Balance, Compromise, Solution. The spread is flexible, to each “pillar, one could one another set of three, and if wanted, another set of three, for a total of nine (9). Beyond 9, it gets unwieldy and unreadable but today’s is a simple three-card Pillar draw. (Today’s deck is *The Tarot of the Sevenfold Mystery* by Robert M. Place. If you are unfamiliar with Robert’s decks, think Alchemy or at least alchemically oriented, clear, clean, concise lines and glowing, clear art. I am a BIG fan of his decks.) To start with, we have a 2 of Cups, all about “coupling” and partnerships and such. It also reminds me that the Cups adventure is just at its beginning; that the wine is still sealed, with a form of the “altered” caduceus in the center speaking of the health of being in a relationship, with him offering her a brimming golden goblet of ambrosia (sustenance of the gods.) Twos are unions, but it is good to remember that they are inherently unstable; you HAVE to grow or add the extension that will turn you into a tripod? Being much more stable. So, my newfound joy in Cups is wonderful but unstable, so I need to nurture our couple (my Anima and me.)This is my atout, my Mercy. My Challenge (Severity) is, oddly enough, making that viable by my choice, Appetite or Will. I’m giving Will the once-over, but don’t discount Appetite, she has a powerful, seductive presence: it is the choice between Lilith and Eve, of course. Cupid is not blindfolded now, meaning he is consciously directing his arrows. Directing this gallop toward emotional decision is VIII the Chariot/Psyche, which I would say is about having the courage to go ahead and do it – keeping firm Control of Will and Reason with the application  of this courage brought forth to carry our early emotion This all seems fairly straightforward to me. I shall leave it there, with the addendum of one affirmation for these cards & thus myself, “I move through Like triumphantly!    


Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Hello and good day! I flagrantly broke my own rule this morning of doing my daily draw immediately after the chores were done; 1st cup of coffee and the draw. But it is AMAZING how reparative & restorative a really good night’s sleep truly is, and having had the 1st one last night in so long that I cannot remember the last, I languished in bed until I felt good & fucking ready to get up and gracefully glide through my day. So here its, noon. And I’m getting around to it. A brunch reading, how quaint. (Today’s deck is the NEW *The Alchemical Tarot Renewed: Fourth Edition* by the wonderful Robert M. Place. You know my rap on Robert & his decks. For me, they don’t get any better than this. And if, I say IF, you don’t have one of his decks, I shall light a candle in desperate prayer to any god that will listen that you see the Light as soon as possible.) My question this morning was the same, more or less, as yesterday’s question, except with a request to dive a little deeper from the general gestalt and show me the behind-the-scenes.1) XX Judgement; 2) the Lady of Swords, and rounding off our symphony of the macabre in a big way is 3) XIII Death. On a salvational note, this is all great news for the ME that matters above the mud: on the other hand, it just simply doesn’t take the physical, my physical, into account at all, as if it has already disposed of the physical. (Note to self: Look for body bag charge on wife’s credit card statement.)That creeps me out a bit. And what song is the Lady of Swords singing that she looks rather aggressive, not to mention the sword above her head flying toward the object of her view? And Balance between Judgment and the overwhelmed housekeeper is Death?? Really?? Transformation so astounding and deep that my entire life changes? Fire is telling me that every act is an act of worship; every act is an act of love. My challenge in the fog is the Lady of Swords, oddly enough, and she’s all about the rushing air and a bit of blowing dust. XIII Death? Yeah, I know this is coming anyway – Hell, I’ve been consciously trying to engineer it for more than 63 years: no, not my “death” death, but this upcoming super “kick-in-the-pants” gift from the Universal Psychic to ALL who can profit from it. My Anima’s home on a cautionary basis –her cautions, not mine. I’m not aggravated, I’m deeply pleased, I hope she stays & we work on our team, because we need to be united to do this, to continue, we can no longer afford the luxury of living “separate lives.” Transformation Junction, here we come. I’m happy with my cards today, I just need to find the right shield to approach the challenger and “cut her strings."   


Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Good morning and Hello! Well, I’m through the early August birthdays, now the next 2/3 of the month and I’ll be clear; I have attracted Leo women and Leo women have attracted me all my life. Consequently, August was a bad month, financially, all my life; as an infant, it was just my mother; then there was my sister; and then, as primary school kicked into gear all the way up to, through and out from university it has been redheads, gingers,& ‘Leonesses’.  I didn’t marry my wife until I was 53, and she is a Libra (and then I wonder why Justice haunts my self-readings . . . ha!), so I was DELIGHTED that my Saturn return had motivated Clotho to reweave that thread in the tapestry and orient it differently. (That is correct, there is no such word as “orientate.” Don’t force the Grammar Police to consider you a “person of interest.”)  Onward. I have been doing some investigating of the Order of the Golden Dawn for a while now; out of personal interest may I add, not out of some quest for the Mauve Unicorn. A LOT of their material REALLY appeals to me, but there are great big chunks that leave me as cold as the diorite statue of King Khafre: it smacks a bit of all of the folderol that Freemasons go through when they meet, and while I can be as open to ritual and “mass participation in the vibe” as the next salamander, there is a very, very fine line where it can, and often does, cross over into dress-up and amateur theatrics. So, you pick the raisins out of the bread, the diamonds from the mud, the pearls from the wine, and you amalgamate it into your own body of knowledge (out of which you may fashion your own set of rituals and costumes and hierarchies, if you wish) and move on. I’m excited about the coming week in particular; I have several readings to give this week for clients/friends who I know VERY well and who wish to consult the cards over what I know to be some pretty heavy stuff in their lives. I feel pre-game jitters, almost, and I want to be at the top of my form. And exactly because of that, I phrased a nice, simple three-card Pillars of the Tree of Life reading for myself. It is a great spread, can be enlarged to 10+ cards and contracted down to three, for the compressed version (Zipped in the astral.) (The deck is the *Golden Dawn Temple Tarot* by Nick Farrell & Nicola & Harry Wendrich. Oversized cards for Temple, I suppose. Otherwise, straight down the party line.) I received: the 7 of Wands, the Lord of Valor; the Prince of Swords, and finally V the Hierophant. A quick recap is in order: The Pillar of Mercy is the 1st card, and in the draw is on the right. The Pillar of Severity is the 2nd card, and is on the far left (or normally 3rd position.) The Pillar of Balance is the 3rd card drawn, but is placed between Mercy and Severity (naturally.)  Mercy is comprised of Chokmah, Chesed, and Netzach; Severity is composed of Binah, Geburah, and Hod. Finally, Balance is composed of Kether, Tiphareth, Yesod and based in Malkuth. If you know anything about the Kabbalah, then you know, you KNOW, that Balance is where you want to hang out, it’s where all the really good parties, lectures, restaurants, and even quiet secluded alcoves are happenin’, man. It is where you can be happy? Just happy, without having to dress it up with your crap. At any rate, let’s take a look at what is happening around me in the vibosphere. (Go ahead, say “vibrational atmosphere,” but I am not one of the Grammar police, I just give ‘em a heads up from time to time when a particularly odious and vile example has been dragged across the town square over and over, to the delight of the buffoons and the pity-tinted disdain of the educated.)  I like the 7 of Wands, Lord of Valor, He’s over there in Netzach via Atziluth, and he’s all about Mar in Leo. So, guess what you get – that’s right, a lot of Leo qualities, and in the material an access of good fortune and a symbol of Integrity. That’s where the Mercy is for me for the next few hemicycles, and as Mercies go it isn’t bad at all; summon the victory by relying on your courage and help will come from within. My challenge, my app/opp/necr-osite, the Severity in my life, comes from the Prince of Swords this time. Prince of the Chariots of the Winds, Prince and Emperor of Sylphs, His Highness is all, and I do mean ALL, about Air. He can be open-minded, but he is distrustful & suspicious. (Yeah, it’s true, I can be). Usually loyal, careful, abstract thinker (yes) Unemotional (and it is THAT that all this recent Sturm und Drang has been about, now resolutioning out, thank the multiverse!) So, I’m going to need to keep him tamped down this week, but I am NOT going to try and harm him, he has served me time & time & time again quite well. My Balance is laying in V the Hierophant this hemicycle, it seems. Magus of the Voice of Light and Prophet of the Gods it’s a good gig if you get it, but watch out for the condition that details the crowd of venomous, oily, prehistoric toadies and energy vampires that gather automatically around a Source. If you are going to be a Source (and, theoretically, we ALL want to be, someday, a Source, n’est-ce pas?) get ready for the crap that limits your being: this time it won’t be as small, this time, as a source, you have to learn higher ways and better reasons to reap the crops and winnow the yields. Open your eyes, look where you are going, but don’t fear a hunch. Meditate on the giving birth and interior housing you are developing/giving to the Hermetic You.  So, Balance dictates I simply cool it and meditate on all that has happened, and to be glad for it. THAT I can do.