Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Good morning and Hello! Today (20/08/2015) is a 2-card Scales of Ma’at reading; the 2 of Gardens (Pentacles) and IX the Hermit. (Today’s deck is the *Japaridze Tarot* by Nino Japaridze. One of the most stunning & breathtaking art decks I’ve ever encountered. It reads well, too! This is a luxury item; it is so well done and fabricated. And then there is the Art . . . which receives a critical standing ovation, at least from me.) I’m not trying to resolve a glaring issue but rather find how to accept a part of my personality that is uncomfortable but true and just. In this instance, it was assumed I would accept someone changing the rules in mid-game in nakes self-interest. it WASN’T anticipated that I would call him on his cheating bullshit.  Everyone KNOWS you don’t change the rules mid-game. I chose to speak up. Of course! it turned the evening “just a touch” stilted and uncomfortable, until the matter was resolved a bit later. It didn’t end the evening, but it “put a hitch in its giddy-up!” I can see that people think I can’t handle randomness, chance, or “chaos theory” behavior, but I can; I simply won’t stand for cheating crap, which certainly puts me in a bad posture vis-à-vis the world, which is currently run by the most self-aggrandizing clique of the über-rich in history.  So, the 2 of Gardens (Pentacles); Mark, you are in the act of “balancing your Self.” This card may also signify financial pressure, which is certainly the case around our house this month! I’m good at adjusting to Change, however; but priorities are VERY important to me, and if one of your priorities isn’t honest behavior and the Truth, then you and I are going to have BIG problems. Ma’at tells me today, however, that I don’t need to slug it out in a public arena; as a matter of fact, Marko-me-boy, you really should work on this “in private,” in IX the Hermit mode. At least for now. Pull your shamanic shit together and integrate your experiences with your morality, such as it is. Quit with the distractions, pal; if you want to get to acceptance of ALL of your personality, you are going to need to meditate on independence (not being a part of the mindless herd) and self-awareness. I am fairly honest with myself, I believe; I try not to swallow my own merde, and generally succeed. HOWEVER, I can feel the need for some alone-time right now – I literally suffer from a lack of it, but that is a whole other kettle of fish. Having married for the first time at the age of 53, I still have some “don’t fuckin’ smother me!” issues. My wife is to blame for nothing, it is my interpretation of her interest in and care of and for me. So-o-o, that’s my Higher Self’s advice to my lower self today; keep balancing, Mark, keep refining your act, and spend some time in your head, pal, you are “socially burnt out” at the moment due to a combination of deep fatigue, illness & pain recently quit, and a soupçon of “it just isn’t polite, is it?” Not that I really give a flying monkey’s shit about that latter, but I am a creature of my society, and guilt is in-built when you rip back the curtain on the little asshole feverishly working his/her lies. However, I wasn’t born to be toilet paper for this world and clean up its mess. So today, I think I’ll move a few pieces of favorite furniture and pack a valise; I need to dwell at the center of myself for a bit.  

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