Monday, April 18, 2016

Good morning and Welcome! to my Scales of Ma’at for 19Apr2016: my Heart is in #47 The Conjecture while the Feather of Truth has to be fetched from his classes with Thoth working on his #54 Study (-ies). (Today’s deck is the *Egyptian Tarot* by Esther Casla. I have no idea why, but this little deck evokes a kind of wry tenderness in me. It is amateurish and basic and the art is simplistic, yet for all its lack of pretension it is endearing. It isn’t very gnostic, and By Jove’s Teeth! it is refractory and difficult to break (tame)! I had to shuffle, cut & draw thrice to get something that made sense, before the deck would become docile & cooperative, and I am NOT speaking of constructing a pleasant reading! It did adapt and work with me finally, however, and I feel like a Dutch uncle. It is a 1 – 78 system deck, no minors, no Courts, and I’m getting more and more used to dealing with that. I won’t say I like it, necessarily, but it has an inherent, rigorous logic of its own. The deck works, but it isn’t the Magnum Opus of Egyptian Tarots, and one shouldn’t expect that from this modest but amusing deck.) The deck’s LWB gives card #47, Conjecture, a divinatory meaning of future happiness, pure & long-lasting love & family understanding. Reversed indicates spiritual affliction & the Moon in dreams. It makes you wonder, doesn’t it? where they invent these LWB meanings for the cards; it is hard to believe that there are 7 billion individual interpretations for each card, but in truth that IS the Truth. The meaning of a card is ALWAYS unique to the Querent. That is why we tarologues exist – to do the translation. Don’t fool yourself that you have a glamorous and occult profession; you (and I!) are merely “translators at the U.N.” Of course, we ARE just a little bit unique because you don’t generally see professional translators at the U.N. busting a nut trying to advance their own growth, to graduate their soul & become enlightened individuals. (They’re in it for the 24-hour smorgasbord of international sexual delight, or so one hopes. Just the idea of sleeping with Ban Ki Moon gets some little intern from the Midwest all worked up! Ha!) The conjecture of future happiness gets a bit more baroque when you are talking about someone on the other side of 60. We are closer to the end of the novel than the beginning, and we start to long for the dénouement so that we can close the cover on a satisfying read, and after a sufficient breather, pick up another book that we hope will prove to be as fascinating. I don’t fear Death, although I DO have a certain amount of distaste for WAYS in which to die; keep burning to death for yourself, please, that particular end horrifies me. This probably means, knowing how perverse my karma can be, that I will die in a fire. But the Big Noun, Death, doesn’t bother me. I am “burning” with curiosity to see the other side, I really want To Know. I’m very heavily invested in payoff time, I have built MYSELF around the idea that MY destiny continues after a minor interruption like death. It had better be fucking true, or I shall bring down the heavens and burn the stars . . . by the Gods I will. I will not brook disappointment, not on THAT. So I can conjecture all I want, I already know how it MUST turn out. Otherwise, my mind shatters at the reality that it is ALL meaningless. That there WAS no point, it was just random chemical reactions, that’s all. NO. I “conjecture” that, on the off-chance that it IS just random chemical reaction, I shall have to become God and create the Big Bang myself, all the while shaking my head ruefully and muttering, “Typical, fuckin’ typical, leave it for Mark to do, AGAIN, that lazy useless fucker. Why I keep him around I don’t know . . .” “No, Virginia, it isn’t blasphemy if you are stating a conjecture.” Grin. 
And having writ, the moving finger doth move on . . . to the Feather of Truth today, which is right up my alley; a deity of learning & knowledge, I have always had a soft spot for Thoth, although he is an emotionally dry person himself. His passions are the Great Themes of Knowledge, and he has little use for tiny organic us except as students, because inherent in teaching is the passing of information, and he’s ALL about that! Our rather punch-drunk LWB here states that this card means Thought, Speculation and Investigation, while reversed it “expresses unknown enemies, treason & slander.” ??? Really? Well, if you say so, my dear, but on that point I’ll beg to differ – you’re full of shit. At its most occulted and reversed, it would probably mean something much closer to being “sterile, unfruitful” rather than empire-destroying evil actions. “But it’s NOT reversed, is it, Blanche, it’s NOT reversed!” No, it isn’t, and if I’m going to find the Feather of Truth anywhere today here it IS in recourse to “my studies;” Any conjectures I may have about ANY level of the future, physical/mental/intellectual/spiritual, can and are answered in my studies, I already know that. I also know that I haven’t had a good long session with my “study materials” for a while, just me and a parchment or a tome (read “book” J ) in the candlelit study of the old Usher mansion. Grin. So I think Perhaps I’ll take that as my major clue today and spend the day in my studies, conjecturing about this & that, but above all, I hope, discerning the most “just” path forward into my future. I ask the Cosmos today to help me and ALL of us to profit from that which we study, to learn the Eternal Truths and to grow from the knowledge.   

 

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