Monday, August 29, 2016

Good morning and Welcome! to The Fool’s Tarot for 30Aug2016. (Today’s deck is the *Ludy Lescot Tarot* by Patrizio Evangelisti and Ludy Lescot.) I was feeling a bit more Tarot-ish this a.m. and decided to pull a simple 2-card Goal/Opposition draw for today. I pulled 1) the 3 of Cups and 2) IV The Emperor. Well, that’s big-time opposition! The only person in my life capable of providing that kind of firepower to the enemy is me, myself. So, my opposition will be coming from within today. Okay, good to know. First, however, let’s look at my idea of today’s goal, and Yep! It looks right on the money, the 3 of Cups. For a long, LONG time now my emotional goal has been this 3. The LWB for the deck makes an amusing remark, “Even if you cannot live like a wild animal, give up your fear of being happy.” Powerful words, though, especially for me, because try as I might, I simply cannot carry my “wild animal” side all by myself, and I DO need company & happiness to feel emotionally whole. Well, perhaps “need” isn’t the right word, but in the sense of “you need it if you are going to become big & strong” [two MORE “dubious positive values.”] For what seems eternities now I have been searching for the “correct” & balanced emotional living and loving arrangement that is more commonly called a threesome. I am bisexual; my wife is heterosexual and I wish to find THE right guy to add to our mix and as a reagent he will transform the whole 2 to a whole 3 and thus we will be back at unity in One. Now if that seems confused or unintelligible, I can understand, but the method to my madness is to fulfill the purpose of my WHOLE being, and “this time around” I would like to reach a stage where 3 = 2 = 1, and our ship of three is happy sailing the high seas. There are all sorts of complications and more baroque circumstances to some areas of my relationship(s), but that is exactly why I wish to add a gentleman to the mix. It isn’t about sex; it really isn’t, despite strong thoughts to the contrary. It is about who I want to love, and being able to do so. ALL AT THE SAME TIME. THAT’S the happy ending I want. Getting it, however, is another question. Yes, I may Will it into manifestation, but I’m not sure that a conscious approach to “love” is a good thing. To tell the truth, I know men NOW whom I would be happy to include, in a heartbeat! save that we are plagued by distance and desire for stability, which to most people sounds like 2 and only two. I’m taking this card this morning as encouragement NOT to give up, yet. It may be around the corner, it may not, but the essence of “surrender” isn’t what is needed here, but the essence of Hope. (Seeing that I am already 64 the racetrack is dangerously fragile but still usable.) As in most things, “on verra.” (“We’ll see.”) 
However, and it is a BIG however, it seems that I am being mightily opposed in this endeavor by . . . me. Yep, I can’t turn away or pretend it isn’t, because it is, that’s me sitting there on that card. Again, Ludy’s LWB brings something humorous but true to the draw; “Beauty does not move the world; money does not move the world; intelligence does not move the world. If you want to move the world, be yourself.” Grin, it’s a lovely AND true sentiment; I’m just not so sure it is about the Emperor, however. He isn’t about “being yourself,” (I’m not saying he stands against it, either!) he’s a whole other order of magnitude larger than that, when being yourself is being the world is being the universe is being an incarnation of the Male and all that goes with a righteous man. (Some of that, remember, is awfully narrow-minded and stick-up-the-butt-ish.) I’m old and wise enough to recognize me when I see me, complete with faults and limitations, and yes, the Emperor very easily pegs me in a certain hole, gives flesh to a certain reality about me. I am a high-maintenance Aries with a lot of Fire and no doubt at all about my own intelligence and willpower. I do not lack self-worth or self-confidence. I count on it too much, perhaps, which is where my fault lies. I DO notice the Emperor is looking directly over to the 3 of Cups, so he IS aware of her, her needs. It may be (read: it is) my imagination but I seem to think there is some indulgence in that gaze, but again, perhaps that is only me wishfully thinking. I do notice that between us soars an eagle; perhaps indicative of Air/Swords temperament, perhaps indicative of someone else “flying in,” but that is a stretch. On verra. On the whole, I can FEEL inside him the regret for the necessity of shutting down her little operation for the benefit of the Ma’at of the empire, the “justness & right balance” of it. “Threesomes” aren’t conducive to social hierarchy and thus must be repressed; I don’t agree with this, by the way. It’s Bullshit! But for the time being, the ruling bodies have degreed it thus, and so it remains. I should mention I find no opposition from my wife to my “needs,” just a request to conduct the campaign with some discretion. Grin, well, of course I do anyway. So, to wrap it up, old hierarchical me, Mr. Solid & Stable 4-Block Emperor Mark the Stolid is my albatross on this particular side journey, and I need to throw that fucking dead bird overboard.  Oops! The tap just ran dry on Old Mark ’52. Pay up! LOL. I ask the Cosmos to give us all a bit of leeway & understanding today when regarding our own desires. Be Well!  

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